I’ve noticed throughout my life, and personal experiences that people truly only want to be around you when you are happy, and positive.  People tire of you quickly if you’re negative or down, even if it’s not for a very long period of time.  I’ve noticed that when I’m happy, people are drawn to me.  They want to spend time with me, but if I’m feeling down on myself or complaining, then everyone just sort of scatters.  I’ve also learned that no matter how hard I try, it’s just impossible to always be happy.  For instance, when a family member or friend dies, then naturally one has to grieve, but most people will only tolerate grief for a very brief time.  The same applies to when you’re caring for a sick loved one, having financial problems, etc.  People only have tolerance to endure your problems for so long, then they’re done.   I, myself have been guilty of not being compassionate enough to people when they are struggling.  So, perhaps this is a lesson to myself.  I should be more compassionate, and then perhaps I would receive more compassion in return.  The people who have the most friends in life, and seem to have the most influence on others are the sunny people.  Sunshine naturally draws people.  What good does it really do to be down, anyway?  Can’t some good be found in every situation in life?  Our perception determines our destiny.   There are times when you need to just vent though, and be authentic with how you are truly feeling.  Those  times should be shared amongst those tried, and true friends.  The people who really love you will tolerate you in all the seasons of life.  Otherwise, just be sunny.

I read a really great article on oprah.com recently about making friends later in life. It’s interesting how it’s so easy to make friends when we’re children, even throughout high school, and college.  Though, somehow when we enter adulthood things change.  We get married, we have children, we work, and we just don’t have the time anymore.  It’s not as easy to pick up the phone, and ring a friend like it was when were kids.  I used to talk on the phone all the time when I was younger, and now I have to force myself to call people.  When we were younger, it was so easy to say “Hey, want to come over after school?”  Fast forward to adulthood, and imagine saying “Hey, want to come over after work?”  It’s not so easy.  Life gets more complicated as we age.  When we were kids, we didn’t have responsibilities, and we weren’t tied down.  So, now hanging out involves advanced planning, and money, and blah blah.  Welcome to adulthood.

As adults too, we always question people’s motives, so if you randomly ask a new friend to hang out, it almost looks suspicious.  ”Why are you asking me to hang out?  What do you want from me?  Do you need money?  Are you hitting on me?”  It’s not as cut, and dry as it once was.

Amazingly enough though, some of the best friends I have are the ones I’ve made later in life. If you are lucky enough to make friends when you’re older, sometimes those can be the best of friendships.  At almost 30, I feel like my life is pretty much headed in the right direction, and I’ve had enough life experience to recognize the types people that I want to be a part of my life.  Though, don’t you just miss the days, when you could call your childhood friend up, and ask their parent’s if they could come out, and play?  I know I do.

I don’t do clingy.  In fact, I can’t stand clingy people.  Clingers are the people who you just can’t seem to get rid of.  Stage five clingers, as some call them. These are the people who call you on the phone, and ramble on, and on. These are the people who try to soak up every moment of your time, and with whom the feeling is not reciprocated.  When your around a clinger, you feel like your head is going to explode, and you just want to run away, and fast.  Often, the clingy people keep popping up in your life.  You think they are gone, and then bam, they reappear!  Clingy behavior is so unappealing to me. Yet for some reason, I tend to attract this type of person.  Perhaps it’s because I’m too friendly? Sometimes I think my friendliness is mistaken as an invitation for friendship. You really have to be careful these days because some people just don’t get boundaries.  Don’t get me wrong because I, myself am clingy at times.  I think everyone can be.  I’m talking about the people who are consistently this way.  All of my close friends are far from clingy.  I think that’s what I like about them.  I very much like a challenge, in every aspect of my life.  We want what we can’t have, it’s just human nature. Who wants to be around someone who’s so easily accessible?  So, cling on oh clinger…cling on.

There are numerous Christian organizations out there claiming that gay people can overcome their homosexuality.  The ironic thing is that many of the founders, and leaders of these organizations are still gay themselves. Michael Bussee, and Gary Cooper. co-founders of Exodus International left the group and in 1979, held a life commitment ceremony.

Recently, George Rekers hired a young gay escort from rentboy.com. Rekers is an anti-gay activist, and baptist minister.  He is also a board member of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH).  He formed the Family Research Council with James Dobson, another well known anti-gay activist.  You can can read the full story about Rekers, and his gay escort here: http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2010-05-06/news/christian-right-leader-george-rekers-takes-vacation-with-rent-boy/.

If someone is truly gay to begin with, then they will always be gay.  No amount of therapy of any type, Christian or not can help someone who is really gay change.  Yes, there are people that claim they have overcome their homoesexuality, and most of these people are just living in denial.  That’s why so many gay people who get married end up having affairs with people of the same sex, and why so many of these so called ex-gay leaders end up living out their lives as homosexuals.

Being gay is not a sin that is to be overcome.  That’s a misnomer that has been preached in churches throughout the world with little consideration of the facts.  The passages of scripture used by these ministers have been taken out of context, and used for an un-healthy agenda.  These same passages often used forbid eating meat, shellfish, and trimming your hair, which are all common practice in today’s society.  Similarly, in history, many white churches discriminated against black people.  Most churches now realize that this practice was wrong, and willingly accept black people into their congregations.  Thomas Road Baptist Church is an example of a church that did this.  God created us all, gay or straight.  He doesn’t want us to change the way He intended for us to be.  He loves us all, just as we are.

Still not convinced?  Google “Why Can’t I Own A Canadian” or watch the documentary, “For the Bible Tells Me So.”